


In Which Dave, Karkat, and John Go Mini Golfing and Play Laser Tag and That's About It

by hpd_lance



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Human, Everyone Is Gay, Humanstuck, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, LMAO, M/M, Meulin and Latula aren't even important and it's only hinted that they are Meulin and Latula, One Shot, So I came up with this while I was out mini-golfing, This Is STUPID, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, Why Did I Write This?, actually i finished this instead of sleeping, basically the ot3 skips school to go mini golfing, it's longer than a drabble, mini golfing, rated for language, the "Original Character" tag is for the small suburban family I wrote lmao
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-28
Updated: 2015-08-28
Packaged: 2018-04-17 15:34:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,259
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4671929
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hpd_lance/pseuds/hpd_lance
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Karkat HATES mini golf. He'll still play it tho. He'll still play it. </p>
<p>(shit summary sorry. read this if you like the domestic fluffy stuff?? I guess idk)</p>
            </blockquote>





	In Which Dave, Karkat, and John Go Mini Golfing and Play Laser Tag and That's About It

**Author's Note:**

> so yeah I started writing this LAST Thursday and just finished it a WEEK LATER because I was busy AS FUCK

Your name is Karkat Vantas, and you fucking _HATE_ mini golf. You don't mind it so much in the fall, when it's cool, and you can comfortably wear a sweater without dying of heat.  
But your idiot best friends dragged you here in the August heat, on a Thursday, during school hours, to play a round of mini golf; all because there was an offer or some shit that got you golf, pizza, laser tag, and arcade tokens for fifty bucks.  
You honestly only came because they promised to put as much money in the jukebox as they possibly could and then let you pick the songs. Also laser tag. They promised you laser tag.  
"Karkat! Get over here! There's only two more holes left, and then we're gonna go inside and get pizza and stuff!" John calls, waving his golf club at you. He, weirdly enough, picked a green golf ball and golf club instead of blue, not that you noticed or anything.  
"Yeah, Karkles, two more holes to sink our balls into, then we're done, and you can pump that stereo full of your emo music." Dave says, waving his (obviously) red golf club at you.  
You sigh, rolling your eyes and picking up your club and ball. You'd actually had the best score of the game, John had the worst, and Dave was close behind you points-wise. You aggressively put the ball down, then channel all your hatred for summer and mini golf into your swing. The ball sinks into the hole after your first shot, and you roll your eyes writing your score on the score card and following John and Dave to the next hole.  
Dave sinks his ball into the hole in two shots, John gets his in in three, and you sink yours in one.  
"Bye ball." Dave says, waving into the final hole as his ball rolls off to god knows where. _He's such a child,_ You think, crossing your arms as John takes five hits to sink his ball. You get yours in one.  
"Damn, Vantas, I thought you said you hated mini golf!" Dave says as you tally up the points, and you inevitably win.  
"I said I hated it, not that I was bad at it," You reply, tallying up John's final score. He gets a fifty-eight, Dave gets a solid forty-five, and you have an eighteen. "Alright, who's giving me a twenty for the jukebox?" You ask, holding up a hand. Dave drops a handful of five dollar bills into your hand.  
"It only takes ones and fives." He says, shrugging.  
"Can I pick one?" John asks. You groan, shaking your head, "No, I only came along because you said I could pick all of the music. Also laser tag,-- which I'm going to kick your ass at, by the way- but mostly I came because of the music." You say, walking over to the music machine. You insert a five, then press the search button.  
You're surprised to find that they've actually got the music you like. It apparently costs two credits per song, and you can queue up a bunch of them.  
So you do.  
You press play on _Move Along_ , and it _blasts_ into the building from unseen speakers. You almost have to cover your ears.  
A small suburban family glares at you, and you think that you probably should have taken their presence into account before selecting _Hallelujah_ by Panic! At The Disco to play next. How old even was that kid anyway, five?  
Oh well. The mother gives you the stink eye, and you decide to select _Build God, Then We'll Talk_ to play after Hallelujah, then _Lying Is The Most Fun_ to play after that, then _Uma Thurman_ by Fall Out Boy to play after them. Fuck that small suburban family. Fuck them.  
You queue up a good set of songs with explicit language and sexual themes, because seriously, fuck that judgemental woman and her judgemental-ness.  
You toss a few _What's New, Pussycat?_ s in there, then one _It's Not Unusual_ right in the middle, under John's influence. The suburban soccer mom is just glaring daggers at you as you walk through the arcade, and the girl behind the counter starts giggling her head off when the suburban soccer mom covers her five-year-old's ears, her cheeks getting redder and redder by the second. You watch as they leave, the mother very indignant, the father laughing to the point of tears, and the one teenager bobbing their head along to the music.  
Dave calls you over, "Hey, look man, I figured a way to get the jackpot every time!" He says, pressing a button on an arcade game, stopping it on the jackpot, then inserting another token, stopping it again on the jackpot. The machine just keeps spewing tickets, and Dave just keeps hitting the jackpot.  
By the time he's run out of tokens, he's got at least ten-thousand tickets to spend.  
He takes them over to the ticket-counting machine, then puts them in the machine one-by-one. He comes up with eleven-thousand three-hundred fifty-five tickets.  
"Yo, Karkles! Whatcha want from the prizes over here? I got cash to _burn_." You don't answer him, instead you go to the nearest game (a Jurassic Park game, unfortunately) and put in the required number of tokens. You have to shoot up the poor dinosaurs? Shameful. What the fuck did these digital dinos ever do to you? Besides, you know, trying to eat you, of course.  
_What's new, pussycat? Whoa-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh,_ You hear, then, "HEY KARKAT!" Comes from your left unexpectedly.  
"JEGUS FUCKING HELL, STRIDER!" You shout, falling off your seat. The dinosaur eats you. Game over.  
"Whoa man, you okay?" He asks. You groan, rolling your eyes, and refuse his hand to help you up. "I got you a thing." He says, holding up a giant teddy bear. Where the fuck did that even come from? It's the size of _you_.  
John pops up on your right, "Hey, Karkat! Look at _this_!" He says, shoving a whoopee cushion in front of your face. It makes a farting noise when it hits your nose.  
"Damn it, Egbert." You say, shoving the whoopee cushion away from your eyes.  
He giggles, handing you another five dollar bill, "For the obscene emo music," He says seriously, "As long as you play _La Vie Boheme_ from Rent." Dave nods in approval, then adds, "Also, you have to play _I'll Cover You_ , also from Rent, because yeah," He says, then looks off over your shoulder (you think? Hard to tell behind those shades). He gasps, "WHOA GUYS LOOK AT THIS MOTHERFUCKER!" He shouts, pointing over your shoulder at a _very_ creepy clown statue, "I'm gonna take a selfie with it." He says, jogging up to the statue and making bunny ears behind it's head. "For my blog." He states. He then takes a picture of you, then John, then a selfie with both of you in the background. "Also for the blog." He says, and you know he's posted them.  
You check his blog,-- because you wanted to see the pictures, not because you actually like his blog- and the caption on the photos is "Hanging with the baes  <3 <3 <3". You roll your eyes, but reblog it anyway, tagging it with, _you asshole i didn't even tell you you could post this, smh, seriously,_  
He looks up at you, and you know he's rolling his eyes behind his shades.  
"Guys, are we going to play laser tag or not?" John calls from his position next to the counter.  
"We haven't eaten yet!" Dave calls back, then he grabs your hand and drags you to your table.  
"So, Karkles! You having fun so far?" Dave asks when you reach the table.  
You shrug, "Yeah, but I'll have more fun after I beat your ass at laser tag." You reply, punching him gently in the arm. He rolls his eyes, slinging and arm around your shoulders.  
"Ah, but that's where you're mistaken, bacon! _I'm_ going to kick _your_ ass at laser tag, and you're going to owe me a dance." Dave responds, laughing.  
"A dance?" You ask skeptically, crossing your arms and turning to face him.  
"Yeah, you have like an hour's worth of songs in that queue, and there's gotta be at least one we can dance to. Hopefully it's the one I suggested." Dave says, sticking his tongue out at you.  
You quickly pinch his tongue between your thumb and forfinger, and he scrunches his nose at you and crosses his eyes to look at your fingers. He frowns at you, -well, as best he can with his tongue being held hostage.  
"Ya fingath tathe like thoap." He says, shaking his head.  
You release his tongue, and he immediately licks your face. You glare at him, reach blindly in front of you, and rip up a piece of pizza. You shove the end into your mouth, and angrily take a bite.  
It would be intimidating, you guess, if you weren't the size of a twelve year old with the face of a six year old and the temper of a small child.  
"Dude, that was adorable." John says from behind you, ruffling your hair.  
You grumble like the disgruntled thing you are, then finish your pizza as _La Vie Boheme_ starts blaring on the speakers.  
_I'll Cover You_ would come on in about thirty minutes.  
Plenty of time for you to kill your bros and dance with Dave. Not that you wanted to, or anything. (Except you kind of do want to.)  
You go to the girl behind the counter, and she flips her long blonde hair over her shoulder, then flounces off to go set up your laser tag vests and guns and shit. She kind of reminds you of Nepeta, in a way. Maybe they were related.  
Another girl in the mini golf attire walks in, "Hey, Mews! I'm taking over from here!" The girl calls, and the other girl pops her head around the corner and throws a thumbs-up sign at the newcomer.  
"Thanks for talking loud! I can't hear much over this music. I can't hear much anyways, but you know." The blonde responds.  
"No probs my friend." The other responds, flipping her (obviously dyed) red hair away from her face. This girl looks strikingly similar to Terezi...  
"Hey, your laser tag is all set up!" The blonde calls cheerfully, passing you a laser gun and vest. "Have fun!"

You run into the dark room first, and Dave follows behind you, and John enters behind him.  
You hide behind a large wall, then climb atop it. You spot Egbert, and shoot him from behind. He frowns down at his vest, then looks around in circles. "Yo, asshole! Up here!" You shout, shooting him again. You can see very well in the dark, it's just a gift you have. He glares up at you, then throws his hands up in defeat, walking out of the room. You climb back down the wall, then search for Strider.  
You find him leaning nonchalantly against a wall. He waves at you as you walk up. He's not holding his laser tag gun, and his vest was discarded off to the side. You debate shooting it, but decide not to. Obviously he wants to talk.  
"'Sup Vantas?" He asks, crossing his arms.  
"Put on your fucking laser tag vest and let me shoot you already, goddamnit." You say grumpily, rolling your eyes.  
He laughs, then tosses his vest on, grabbing his laser gun in the process. "I'm not giving you the satisfaction of shooting me. Either I shoot you, or I shoot myself." He says, sticking his tongue out at you.  
You roll your eyes, shooting him in the chest.  
"Oh, come on! No fair!" He says, then his shoulders slump. He flashsteps behind you somehow, then picks you up, twirling you around, "Alright. You cheated somehow. But whatever. Let's go, you owe me a dance." Dave says, and he repositions his arms so he's carrying you bride-style. As soon as he crosses the threshold of the laser tag room thing, he shouts, "Johnny! We're home!" In a sing-song voice.  
You roll your eyes, then he sets you down so you both can return your vests and guns.  
"That fast, huh?" The redheaded girl asks from behind the counter.  
You shrug, "They're too easy to beat. They both have _atrocious_ eyesight. They couldn't hit the broad side of a barn." You say, and Dave gently punches your arm.  
"Bitch."  
"Jerk."  
You lean away from the counter as _I'll Cover You_ starts playing, and Dave grabs your hand and pulls you to a part of the floor devoid of tables and arcade games, then starts singing along, swaying you to the music. When the tempo picks up slightly, he spins you around, and by the time the song is over, you're both grinning like idiots.  
Then Dave does something unexpected. He leans forward, then presses his lips to yours.  
You're surprised, at first, but you end up kissing him back, burying your hand in his hair. He pulls you closer, and you don't even resist. When he pulls away, you make a small squeaking noise, and John, standing off to the side, squeals in girlish delight.  
You spend the rest of the day blushing furiously, and Dave laughs at your face every five seconds.

Your name is Karkat Vantas, and you could get used to mini-golf if it always ends like this.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you liked this, assholes


End file.
